i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Randomize
