she woke up with a sticky ear
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
