I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
