Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
