dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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