It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Vodka?
Forever.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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