pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
