I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
