is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
