This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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