Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
