he thought i was a dude.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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