there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
wow bdsm is so cute
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