I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
