tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
