sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
