Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
