I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
