I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
