Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
...so i touched it.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
