you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
