just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
