Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
