As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
