Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
