Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
