i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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