And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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