i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Come share oat with me in your robe
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
