sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
