I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
