I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
