How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
