the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
third nipple confirmed
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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