Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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