he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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