these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
