So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
