is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
