One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
