WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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