We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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