I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
