My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
