why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Still dying that you shit outside
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My bed smells like the plague
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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