he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
