a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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