i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
