1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
