he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
